Thursday, September 12, 2013

Hangover Remedy Fails

Yesterday was quite possibly the greatest blogging day I have ever had, which I realize sounds pretty freaking lame if you're not a blogger but whatever. Let's roll with it because, let me tell you, 160 comments, 5,100+ pageviews, and countless supportive texts, emails, and tweets is exciting as mother effing hell. Not to mention, that boyfriend (woah, weird word alert.) guy I was writing about read the post and really, really loved it, which pretty much blew my mind because I am so used to stuffing this blog under the rug and 110% denying it to the real world. Crazy.

If you're new here, let me just go ahead and fill you in on a little something. When I have a really, really good day, I like to celebrate. And by celebrate I mean guzzle down about 5 shots of Fireball and a few pitchers of Miller Lite. Quite honestly, I had no intention of going that hard last night, but I guess with all of the excitement surrounding me that changed real fast. Insert nonexistent hungover emoji here.

Hangover aside, we had a blast last night. Blog, say hi to my bear. Hi bear. Clearly, I am miserable.

So, today I've been painfully wandering my hungover ass around the office trying to figure out how to get over the hangover and after a little chat with Sarah about what I should blog about I decided to take her idea and spin it around a little bit.

Allow me to introduce you to the hangover "remedies" that are about as useful as trying to buy a bottle of wine with pesos in America (Very unsuccessful, for the record.)

Greasy food.
The last thing I wanted to do when I woke up this morning was eat, let alone shovel a McD's sausage muff in my beer catcher, but I did it and then I regretted it worse than the time I left a vodka soda on my nightstand and woke up in the middle of the night thinking it was water. (#vomit) As if my protruding belly full of beer and Fireball remnants wasn't uncomfortable on it's own, adding in some grade D greasy sausage really topped me off and prepped me for the nap I didn't get to take. Horrible, just no.

I set my Keurig to brew me a fresh cup of Joe while I was walking the fluff monsters this morning. When I walked back into my apartment I nearly lost my cookies all over two little white dogs because the smell of the coffee was so horrid. That was about as far as I got with the coffee trial, the full mug has been chillen in my fridge all day. On the positive side, I have iced coffee for tomorrow morning so, there's that.

Gatorade and water.
I've flooded my insides with more of these two things today than I flooded them with le booze last night and let me tell you something, I still feel like shit. I'm so over Gatorade right now, I think I'd rather go thirsty than take another sip of it. It's not you, it's me, Red G-rade.

Ok, I don't think my 4 block walk to lunch really counts as exercise but that walk was rough and, if anything, it made me hurt worse. It's hot outside, so #beersweat was in full force, all of the water and Gatorade I consumed was sloshing around in my hungover belly, and basically I wanted to hop on the back of the Jimmy John guy's bike and have him take me straight home so I could nap. Just say no to hungover exercising.

The thing I intend on doing lots of as soon as I get home from work and I just can't even contain my excitement to see that bed of mine when I walk into my bedroom. While I sure would have loved to sleep in a bit later this morning, I can guaran-damn-tee you it wouldn't have made any difference unless I could have laid in bed the entire day. Which, lezbirealhonest, just isn't a possibility on a rando Thursday.

You know what wouldn't have been a remedy fail?
A mimosa. Hair of the dog works every time.
Well, it does until you wake up the next day in more pain than you were initially in and then you have to restart this process all over again. Exhausting, really.

I will now go stare blankly into space, willing the clock to move it's little ass along, and prepare for the greatest nap my world has ever known.


  1. September 12, 2013 at 2:57 PM

    A blog hangover of the best kind!

    p.s. hi whit's bear!

  2. September 12, 2013 at 2:58 PM

    You know what else does not work? Eating crunchy foods. Someone told me that and now I'm convinced they were just messing with me because that was the worst idea.

    Like, ever.

  3. September 12, 2013 at 2:59 PM

    I love how you listed the fails! Ugh greasy food is just nasty for a hangover. I do like the mimosa idea! The only thing that will cure a hangover is it slowly creeps by...deathly slow.

    Congrats on all the blog excitement! i can't wait to be where you are one day :) And I'm oh so happy that you can call him *boyfriend*


  4. September 12, 2013 at 3:01 PM

    I tell you what works for me more often than not: taking a Vitamin B Complex the night of drinking. It sounds SO weird, but it works. You will pee neon yellow in the morning but you won't feel nearly as close to death as you would normally have. Promise, it's amazing!!

  5. September 12, 2013 at 3:01 PM

    Ugh. Hangovers at work are the worst.

  6. September 12, 2013 at 3:03 PM

    SHOW me the person who thinks exercise cures a hangover and I'll show you a moron.

    1. September 12, 2013 at 3:51 PM


  • OliviaSeptember 12, 2013 at 3:10 PM

    I know we all say, "I'm going to drink a lot of water before I got to bed" after a night of drinking but really, who does that? BUT if you do remember, chug a bottle of coconut water before you pass out and one when you wake up. I've seen it make a difference and while I don't particularly care for coconut water (honestly, it's gross) it really helps.


  • September 12, 2013 at 3:14 PM

    Oh the ol vodka not water mistake...I've heard that story too many times. #worst.

  • September 12, 2013 at 3:23 PM

    You know what DID help my hangover this morning? Jamba Juice. Nommmm.

  • September 12, 2013 at 3:27 PM

    Didn't get to comment on yesterday's post but you go girl! Not for bagging a man...but for being happy and letting yourself be happy. Not sure if any of that makes sense but what else do you say through something like this?? hah!

  • September 12, 2013 at 3:27 PM

    Drink Pedialyte before you go to bed and you will wake up feeling great.

  • September 12, 2013 at 3:29 PM

    HI BEAR. I'm lucky that I *usually* don't have hangovers, but when I do, they're the kind that require staying in bed for three days straight.

  • September 12, 2013 at 3:32 PM

    I am a total coffee addict and most days I can't go 10 minutes after getting out of bed without drinking it. But when I am hungover, even the thought of drinking coffee makes me want to throw up!

  • September 12, 2013 at 3:34 PM

    I just can't stomach water when I'm hungover. I'm extremely thirsty but I get nauseous just thinking about water hitting my hungover stomach. It has to be juice or (your fav today) gatorade/powerade. I don't know what it is.. just can't do it. Once I've had some food and am feeling a little better I start pounding the H20 like crazy, but not when I first get up.. yick.

    I've learned that my cure is what I call 2nd meal. The 1st meal helps me not to throw up and soaks up the alcohol, but the 2nd meal is when I think the vitamins and re-hydration start setting back in and I start to feel somewhat human again.

    Feel better! The day is almost over ;-)

  • September 12, 2013 at 3:35 PM

    P.S. As lame as it sounds, drink water while you're out. It seriously makes a HUGE difference. Inbetween pounding shots/chugging beer order a glass of water. It helps you rehydrate before the damage is even done.

  • September 12, 2013 at 3:45 PM

    Hahaha, Gaterade? Homie no. We drink powerade. The water you drink before you go to sleep, not once you're already sick as hell. *Shaking my head* (Ooh look I typed it out)...I have so much to teach you young one.

  • September 12, 2013 at 3:50 PM

    Haha, I love your writing - you're hilarious. Have a great nap!

    - Michelle @

  • September 12, 2013 at 3:55 PM

    You have to go orange Gatorade, and it has to be with a banana. Sip, bite, sip bite, etc.

    I'm telling you. Works better than saline solution directly into the veins (which works AMAZING, if you can find an army medic to administer it).

  • September 12, 2013 at 3:57 PM

    Girl, pedialyte. Trust me. Gatorade is for a couple beers on a Monday night. Pedialyte is for real hangovers. Find it at any drugstore, in the children's aisle usually by formula. They have it in apple juice boxes and even popsicles. You'll thank me.

  • September 12, 2013 at 4:03 PM

    Pedialyte & BC Powder cures a hangover every time!

  • September 12, 2013 at 4:29 PM

    Amen to all you lovelies who say Pedialyte. It truly is a miracle hangover cure.

  • September 12, 2013 at 4:54 PM

    I'm two parts OHMYGOSH so excited and happy for you and one part really feeling bad that you're feeling bad. The day after my birthday I threw up four times AT WORK and it was horrible least you're probably off work soon so congratulations.

  • September 12, 2013 at 5:04 PM

    Who the hell says exercise is a hangover cure? I'd like to shut their mouth for them

  • September 12, 2013 at 5:10 PM

    I did three nights in Miami with 6 AM bed times and 9 AM mimosas. Cure could have been the mimosas, but I'm convinced it was the two ibuprofen and coconut water before bed.

  • September 12, 2013 at 5:59 PM

    Another awesome post! I agree, anyone who thinks exercise is a cure for a hangover has clearly never had one.

  • September 12, 2013 at 6:23 PM

    HIIIII bear! :D

  • September 12, 2013 at 6:30 PM

    OMG! I remember my first hangover and someone told me to drink lots of water! Little did I know it was the worst thing that I could do! Normally I just go straight to the tail of the dog that bit me.. what is it "they" say? You can't have a hangover if you never sober up? I did my share of celebrating last night too!

  • September 12, 2013 at 7:01 PM

    A friend once swore by pickle juice and honey. They gave it to me and I gagged on the smell alone. Who can drink that?

  • September 12, 2013 at 7:37 PM

    Gatorade, sleep and a dark/cold room usually help me. Barely though

  • September 12, 2013 at 8:04 PM

    This was the story of my life begining on Wednesday morning. Needless to say I went to bed at 5:30 Wednesdy evening and didn't wake up until Thursday morning at 7:30. Sleep is the only thing that works!!!

  • September 12, 2013 at 9:48 PM

    I have been informed that bloody marys are the best hangover cure, though that might be too much to stomach the day after a rager. At least you made it to Friday, like a champ!

  • September 12, 2013 at 9:57 PM

    Hi Bear! I've never been drunk/hungover, so I can't give my two cents on this topic. Pedialyte seems to be a crowd favorite, though.

  • September 12, 2013 at 10:24 PM

    Uhm. You are HILARIOUS. And I love your blog. New follower on bloglovin!!

  • September 12, 2013 at 11:02 PM

    Gotta love a boyfran who supports Miss Yoga Pants, blog and all! Ew hangovers... go die.

  • September 12, 2013 at 11:22 PM

    Silly rabbit.. you were drinking the wrong Gatorade.. it's the YELLOW one that works all the magic! ;)

  • September 13, 2013 at 12:24 AM

    I am a big fan of advil, coconut water and sleep! I hope you feel better soon and congrats again!

    Sparkles and Shoes

  • September 13, 2013 at 1:03 AM

    I hope you got your nap in :).

    I've got some bad news for you, but there's some good news too. Bad news first. Once you hit 30 everytime you drink anything more than 2 drinks you'll wake up with a hangover. Good news now! You have a few years to find a remedy. The only thing that works for me is toast.

  • September 13, 2013 at 1:10 AM

    That post is what brought me here! And I absolutely love it so I'm going to follow! Haha.

  • September 13, 2013 at 5:04 AM

    I'm going up to Tally this weekend for a bachelorette party, thanks for this "how to" guide. I'll be picking up coconut water and pedalyte instead of my normal Gatorade (although, how else am I suppose to rep my men in Tally)

  • September 13, 2013 at 7:56 AM

    Take Dramamine next time. You know, the motion sickness medicine. It works like a CHAMP! Motion sickness has all the same symptoms has a hang over, hence why it has never let me down.

  • September 13, 2013 at 8:22 AM

    Hangovers suck the big one. Bleh. Congrats on your new, happy, healthy relationship! Yay! You two look adorable together!

  • September 13, 2013 at 12:25 PM

    Ugh I totally agree, when I have a rough hangover I find NOTHING works... & again, congrats ;) x

  • September 13, 2013 at 6:50 PM

    I still am pretty stoked for you! I did tell Erin though that I was a little sad because the single bloggers like myself are dwindling haha


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