Monday, September 9, 2013


I realize the thing to do on Mondays is to write about my weekend, but my weekend was pretty short and sweet so I don't have much to report on aside from the worst hangover I've had in years, which occurred Saturday and absolutely wrecked my life for 24 hours solid. If it weren't for that amazing Gator loss, Saturday would have been a total waste so thanks for that, Canes.

Anywho, aside from a few drink/food pics, I've really got nothing from my weekend to share so I figured I'd do a little post that's been brewing in the old noggin for a few weeks.

1. 3+ posts in a row.
Say it with me, is not . Nothing convinces me to unfollow someone on Instagram faster than scrolling through my feed and seeing 6 back-to-back photos of the same child eating spagetti with sauce all over their dirty little monster faces. Just stop.

This one alone has caused me to have an irrational fear of posting any sort of nonsense on Instagram. I'm constantly paranoid with my Instagram decisions.

2. Hashtag abuse.
This is a very serious condition and it absolutely has got to stop. If you're using more than 3 hashtags, in a serious maner, you need to go seek help and find a cure for this disease fast because it's making you look pretty silly and as your friend I'm trying to break that news to you easily.

If you fall victim to this one, it's not too late to turn the bus around. Trust me, people are judging you.

3. Unrelated photo to caption. 
If you post a selfie which is clearly showing off, oh let's just say, your lady lumps yet your caption says something like "Oh, it's a beautiful Monday!", we're on to you. Why don't you just go ahead and caption it upfront and forward? You might as well let us all know you're loving how your funbags are looking today, at least you'll get a laugh with that bag of judgement people are packing for you.

"Hey everyone, come check out how good my tits look today! #bigtittyho"

4. Pitty seekers. 
Nothing gives my eyes the pleasure of rolling quite like a picture of a leg with a bandage on it or a sad faced selfie because you're "zomgzz so sick". I don't care if you filter said photos with every filter Instagram has to offer, it's still going to be pretty freaking pointless.

Perhaps instead of these photos, just go ahead and post a photo of your meds with the caption, "The goods. #turntup". Then we can all be jealous you're on that level and we're just over here sipping coffee at work.

5. Selfie abuse.
What would a post about Instagram fails be without the most commonly offensive fail of them all be? Oh, selfie abuse, let me count the ways. If, in one single day, you decide it's fit to post 6 selfies, all explaining what you're currently doing, you should just go and delete your Instagram now because everyone is going to unfollow you if you keep that shit up.

While we all realize that waking up very early for work is a most unenjoyable task, no one needs to see your pout face because of it. Maybe go ahead and tweet about it, then get on with your day because we would much rather see you looking all hot and stuff later in that one selfie you take before going out for happy hour.

Just a thought.

And that's going to do it for today's dose of sass.

One last thing dealing with Instagram.
A genius by the name of Mason has started a new project for Bloggers on Instagram called "The Blog Baton" where, basically, one blogger gets to take over Instagram account for one day and document their day. When Mason emailed me explaining the idea behind the project I knew that I instantly (see what I did there?) wanted to do it and before I knew it I was signed up and in line to be the second blogger to participate, which means tomorrow is my day to hold the blog baton.

This means everyone should go ahead and go follow  on Instagram and gear up for my day via Instagram tomorrow. Mostly because I have an irrational fear of getting zero likes all day and I just need at least a few of you to come give a sister a reason to keep up with my project tomorrow.

Click here to learn more about The Blog Baton and click here to follow on Instagram so you can follow along with me tomorrow. I promise at least one PBR and a pair of yoga pants being sported.

See ya on the flip side, blog land.


  1. September 9, 2013 at 10:29 AM

    Ok firstly yes with the lots of photos in a row. Seriously annoying!
    Second that blog baton things is awesome. Def going to follow.

    Kallie @ But First, Coffee

  2. September 9, 2013 at 10:31 AM

    #3!!!!!! The selfie picture... but particularly with a song lyric underneath!!! OMG. No!!

    And going to follow the blog baton. Brilliant idea!

  3. September 9, 2013 at 10:39 AM

    mainly i don't like being told what to do.
    so this immediately instilled a need to DO all of these things.
    but then the thought of how horrifying it would truly be stopped me.

  4. September 9, 2013 at 10:41 AM

    One thing I don't like about Instagram is the instant "likes" by automatic spammers. I googled information about it and it's a legit huge problem.

    I have a bulldog and I obviously hashtag #bulldogs. Theres a follower named gs that "likes" every single photo within .2 seconds of posting the picture EVERY FRICKEN time I do it. It's obvious its automated.

    It's "ad free" technically but it's already becoming full of spammers and spam adds.


  5. September 9, 2013 at 10:43 AM

    People who do #5 should snapchat. And I'm laughing so hard about #3. Thanks for the Monday laugh.

  6. September 9, 2013 at 10:47 AM

    These things drive me nuts too! I agree with Kate up there people should just use Snapchat for that nonsense!

  7. September 9, 2013 at 10:49 AM

    The most genius post I've ever read in my life, hands down.

  8. September 9, 2013 at 10:52 AM

    ha! we are both on the instagram page today. cept I AM the annoying one. I'm pumped for the blog baton, can't wait to see what you do with your day!

  9. September 9, 2013 at 10:55 AM

    I'm prettyyyyyy sure that I don't do any of these but I'm sure I did at some point haha. I've been all nervous about posting more than 1 photo in a day because of Sarah's post saying you can't. Also, I'm real excited for BlogBaton. Mine isn't until October 28th :(

  10. September 9, 2013 at 10:59 AM

    I HATE hastags!! If your hastags take up more room than the picture it's self, you have issues!

  11. September 9, 2013 at 11:04 AM

    I don't post more than 1 photo a day, and maybe 2 in a whole week. But they are almost all of my dog...

  12. September 9, 2013 at 11:09 AM

    Thanks for not including "don't spam my instagram with 80+ likes on a Sunday night when it's clear you have nothing better to do than be a stalker."

    I agree with all of these and that's all I have to say about that, so kudos. OH I haven't had a Kudos bar in FOREVER and now I want one.

  13. September 9, 2013 at 11:10 AM

    Thank you for the shout out lovey pants!!! I'm so so so excited to have you tomorrow!!!

  14. September 9, 2013 at 11:13 AM

    #I #am #so #glad #you #did #a #post #like #this. #my #favorite #new #hashtag #has #to #be #bigtittyho. #I #mean #you #are #just #sooooo #omg #funny. #the #end.

  15. September 9, 2013 at 11:16 AM

    I am not on Instagram, but I can NOT stand when people over hashtag stuff on fb, emails, blogs anything. STOP!! That shit is annoying!

    This post can apply to fb as well. Love it. I delete people all the time bc of these reasons. haha

  16. September 9, 2013 at 11:21 AM

    number 3 Whit, OMG number 3!!!

  17. September 9, 2013 at 11:27 AM

    But seriously! I can't handle it when people post like 8 pictures in a row and tag #instaflood. Get a hold of yourself!

  18. September 9, 2013 at 11:33 AM

    Hashtag abuse is wrong. Its just wrong. I try and limit my selfie abuse too...I really do. Also multiple posts in a row? Unless you're Adam Levine and live Instagramming your morning routine from shower to dressed I don't wanna see that. K? Thanks.

  19. September 9, 2013 at 11:36 AM

    Ha! I just knew you'd comment on the Gators loss. I even thought about you at the end of the game. :)

  20. September 9, 2013 at 11:58 AM

    I agree, I do not want to see six photos of the same thing in a row on Insta!

    Sparkles and Shoes

  21. September 9, 2013 at 12:18 PM

    Ah I'm doing the Blog Baton in October! Can't wait to see what you post tomorrow! xo

  22. September 9, 2013 at 12:51 PM

    #stop #with #the #unnecessary #overuse #of #hashtags #people

  23. September 9, 2013 at 12:58 PM

    Totally agree with your Instagram annoyances. That being said, the main question I have here is WHAT kind of epic-ness caused this horrible hangover?? ;-)

    Sarah @ Life As Always

  24. September 9, 2013 at 1:08 PM

    I wish I could link to this girl I know. It's selfies all day, everyday. Including bikini shots, ab shots, etc. It's no wonder her boyfriend closed his Facebook account. I keep her around for the amusement factor.

  25. September 9, 2013 at 1:29 PM

    #3 is too funny! Thankfully I don't have chest shots up in my feed, because just NO! Take that bizness to the club!!

  26. September 9, 2013 at 1:31 PM

    this is PRICELESS!!

    i missed your blog whitteezy. I had a blog haiatus last week but am back

    oh and whats with that new app that lets you see who unfollowed you!! have you heard of that!?!

    selfie abusing is insane. And the "happy monday" posts where its a pic of their boobies staring me in the face that has nothing to do with monday except mondays make me want to dress like a sloth an not stick my non-existant tits out for the world to see

    xoxoxo MUAH

  27. September 9, 2013 at 1:39 PM

    yes yes. agree all the way! though the other day I totally posted a picture of me and my son and said how we were sick. but he was cuddling with me all cute so I thought it was something to document (he's a rambunctious 3-year-old). but yes to it all!

  28. September 9, 2013 at 1:42 PM

    Love that hashtag abuse pic! Too funny! But true!

  29. September 9, 2013 at 1:45 PM

    ugh hashtags. more than one, maybe two hashtags, is more than enough for me!

  30. September 9, 2013 at 1:51 PM

    Thank you for this customer service announcement! I follow several peeps who constantly break all of the above rules. It makes me crazy. The other horrible thing that makes my brain explode is when people write nasty comments on celebrity posts. Ummmmm...... If you don't like them, don't follow them. Enough said. Done with rant.

  31. September 9, 2013 at 2:03 PM

    Love this... seriously made my afternoon! I hate the child pics that just keep going coupled with the 8 hashtags.

  32. September 9, 2013 at 2:35 PM

    I've become more cautious about what I post on Instagram and how often just for all of these reasons!!!

  33. September 9, 2013 at 2:35 PM

    Insta Etiquette should be a policy you have to read before you are allowed to sign up. Unless you are Channing Tatum then please do take selfies

  34. September 9, 2013 at 3:13 PM

    When I saw the title of your post I instantly thought "OMGeeze, I am definitely one of the offenders who shamelessly uploads too many photos of how much she loves her fiance/husband/manfriend." Thank you for not including that one even though I know it's annoying. I'll stop soon, I swear.

  35. September 9, 2013 at 3:22 PM

    Seriously this made me laugh and is SO true! I hate when I see back-to-back pictures of the same thing and selfies. I don't do it so I don't like see others doing it.

  36. September 9, 2013 at 3:30 PM

    AMEN to #3...girls are guilty of this on FB too. I know one girl in particular that always takes selfies at an angle above her head (so that half her body is in the pic). And she'll be all like #babyblues hinting that she's trying to show us her beautiful blue eyes but then why is it the first thing I see are two virtual DD's all up in my face? Yeah...we're on to you.

  37. September 9, 2013 at 3:49 PM

    I can't stand all the boob shots on Instagram with deep quotes like "it's better to have loved and lost then never loved at all" or "every moment of sadness is a moment of happiness you will never get back"...okay cool, this photo is still just a picture of your boobs, it's not getting a million likes from 45 year old men because they are inspired by your life wisdom.

  38. September 9, 2013 at 4:00 PM

    HAHAHAHA OMG #3 yes yes yes! Can they push the boobs up any higher!? ;)

    IG: megawat (an IG filled with ass and titties galore)
    Hello Newlywed Life Blog

  39. September 9, 2013 at 6:10 PM

    I use a lot of hashtags, but I put them in a comment after my picture. I do this so others can find my pictures. It's pretty big with us bunny owners. As for three in a row. I think it really just depends on what you use instagram for, some people use it like facebook or tumblr and that's just fine.

  40. September 9, 2013 at 6:12 PM

    A girl I went to high school with once posted so many selfies that my entire Instagram feed was her dumb face! She posted seriously 30 selfies in a row. Homegirl we get it. You love yourself. Now go find something to do.

    Amanda -

  41. September 9, 2013 at 8:19 PM

    Yes to all of these!! I have had people send me hashtags in texts. No.

    Michelle -

  42. September 9, 2013 at 9:46 PM

    The hash tag thing drives me CRAZY!!! And sometimes I post 3 in a row thanks for calling me out heheheheh

  43. September 9, 2013 at 10:42 PM

    #yes, #yes, #yes, #yes, and #yes! #agreed.

  44. September 9, 2013 at 11:25 PM

    Totally agree! Hubby and I were just talking last night about how I sometimes dread checking Instagram because who knows what junk was posted on there - like the 10 selfies in a workout outfit because they're so excited they lost X amount of pounds that week. Seriously - We. Don't. Care! Well said, lady!!!

    Danielle @

  45. September 9, 2013 at 11:51 PM

    I'm the worst. I hashtag all the things for fitness related posts. Go ahead and hate me, I'll hang my head in shame.

    Also, you should just commit all of these faux-pas on blogbaton tomorrow - haha just kidding. but seriously. or not.

    I'll TRY and stop hashtagging... but I promise nothing.

  46. September 10, 2013 at 1:13 AM

    Cool concept with the Blog Baton!!

  47. September 10, 2013 at 6:42 AM

    Completely agree with you on this one whit.. some of these instagramers are seriously abusing it!!! I don't even know how I followed so many people!! I got it earlier this year and I MUST have clicked on something that said, 'follow all friends' or something because I am following some of the most boring and pointless posts that I could never give two ..... hoots..... about. (playing nice heh heh)

  48. September 10, 2013 at 11:26 AM

    Numero cinco is my numero uno annoyance! I cannot stand scrolling down my IG to find 10 pictures of the same girl doing the duck lips pose. OMG. And duck lips are not cute!

  49. September 10, 2013 at 11:45 AM

    #hashtagwhores is my new favorite thing!!

  50. September 10, 2013 at 12:15 PM

    OMG I'm dying; this one chick I know likes to take a picture of 3 carrots, 2oz of chicken and 6 grapes and hashtag all of that and more: #cleaneating #doingthisforme #healthy #grapes #2ozchicken #carrots #veggies #diet #weightloss etc. I LOSE MY SHIT EVERY TIME.

  51. September 10, 2013 at 5:47 PM

    It could be possible I do number 1. But if it does happen its usually all of different things, or at least I hope it is. And I don't understand hash tags, like why do they put so many in them. What do they do?

    Color Me Brave

  52. September 10, 2013 at 11:27 PM

    you are so funny and these are all so true

    xo The Egg


Thanks for the love - I love hearing from each and every one of you. It makes my day!