Anywho, aside from a few drink/food pics, I've really got nothing from my weekend to share so I figured I'd do a little post that's been brewing in the old noggin for a few weeks.
1. 3+ posts in a row.
Say it with me, is not . Nothing convinces me to unfollow someone on Instagram faster than scrolling through my feed and seeing 6 back-to-back photos of the same child eating spagetti with sauce all over their dirty little monster faces. Just stop.
This one alone has caused me to have an irrational fear of posting any sort of nonsense on Instagram. I'm constantly paranoid with my Instagram decisions.
2. Hashtag abuse.
This is a very serious condition and it absolutely has got to stop. If you're using more than 3 hashtags, in a serious maner, you need to go seek help and find a cure for this disease fast because it's making you look pretty silly and as your friend I'm trying to break that news to you easily.
If you fall victim to this one, it's not too late to turn the bus around. Trust me, people are judging you.
3. Unrelated photo to caption.
If you post a selfie which is clearly showing off, oh let's just say, your lady lumps yet your caption says something like "Oh, it's a beautiful Monday!", we're on to you. Why don't you just go ahead and caption it upfront and forward? You might as well let us all know you're loving how your funbags are looking today, at least you'll get a laugh with that bag of judgement people are packing for you.
"Hey everyone, come check out how good my tits look today! #bigtittyho"
4. Pitty seekers.
Nothing gives my eyes the pleasure of rolling quite like a picture of a leg with a bandage on it or a sad faced selfie because you're "zomgzz so sick". I don't care if you filter said photos with every filter Instagram has to offer, it's still going to be pretty freaking pointless.
Perhaps instead of these photos, just go ahead and post a photo of your meds with the caption, "The goods. #turntup". Then we can all be jealous you're on that level and we're just over here sipping coffee at work.
5. Selfie abuse.
What would a post about Instagram fails be without the most commonly offensive fail of them all be? Oh, selfie abuse, let me count the ways. If, in one single day, you decide it's fit to post 6 selfies, all explaining what you're currently doing, you should just go and delete your Instagram now because everyone is going to unfollow you if you keep that shit up.
While we all realize that waking up very early for work is a most unenjoyable task, no one needs to see your pout face because of it. Maybe go ahead and tweet about it, then get on with your day because we would much rather see you looking all hot and stuff later in that one selfie you take before going out for happy hour.
Just a thought.
And that's going to do it for today's dose of sass.
One last thing dealing with Instagram.
A genius by the name of Mason has started a new project for Bloggers on Instagram called "The Blog Baton" where, basically, one blogger gets to take over Instagram account for one day and document their day. When Mason emailed me explaining the idea behind the project I knew that I instantly (see what I did there?) wanted to do it and before I knew it I was signed up and in line to be the second blogger to participate, which means tomorrow is my day to hold the blog baton.
This means everyone should go ahead and go follow on Instagram and gear up for my day via Instagram tomorrow. Mostly because I have an irrational fear of getting zero likes all day and I just need at least a few of you to come give a sister a reason to keep up with my project tomorrow.
Click here to learn more about The Blog Baton and click here to follow on Instagram so you can follow along with me tomorrow. I promise at least one PBR and a pair of yoga pants being sported.
See ya on the flip side, blog land.
Ok firstly yes with the lots of photos in a row. Seriously annoying!
ReplySecond that blog baton things is awesome. Def going to follow.
Kallie @ But First, Coffee
#3!!!!!! The selfie picture... but particularly with a song lyric underneath!!! OMG. No!!
ReplyAnd going to follow the blog baton. Brilliant idea!
mainly i don't like being told what to do.
Replyso this immediately instilled a need to DO all of these things.
but then the thought of how horrifying it would truly be stopped me.
One thing I don't like about Instagram is the instant "likes" by automatic spammers. I googled information about it and it's a legit huge problem.
ReplyI have a bulldog and I obviously hashtag #bulldogs. Theres a follower named gs that "likes" every single photo within .2 seconds of posting the picture EVERY FRICKEN time I do it. It's obvious its automated.
It's "ad free" technically but it's already becoming full of spammers and spam adds.
Ginny
www.buttergirldiaries.com
People who do #5 should snapchat. And I'm laughing so hard about #3. Thanks for the Monday laugh.
ReplyThese things drive me nuts too! I agree with Kate up there people should just use Snapchat for that nonsense!
ReplyThe most genius post I've ever read in my life, hands down.
Replyha! we are both on the instagram page today. cept I AM the annoying one. I'm pumped for the blog baton, can't wait to see what you do with your day!
ReplyI'm prettyyyyyy sure that I don't do any of these but I'm sure I did at some point haha. I've been all nervous about posting more than 1 photo in a day because of Sarah's post saying you can't. Also, I'm real excited for BlogBaton. Mine isn't until October 28th :(
ReplyI HATE hastags!! If your hastags take up more room than the picture it's self, you have issues!
ReplyI don't post more than 1 photo a day, and maybe 2 in a whole week. But they are almost all of my dog...
ReplyThanks for not including "don't spam my instagram with 80+ likes on a Sunday night when it's clear you have nothing better to do than be a stalker."
ReplyI agree with all of these and that's all I have to say about that, so kudos. OH I haven't had a Kudos bar in FOREVER and now I want one.
Thank you for the shout out lovey pants!!! I'm so so so excited to have you tomorrow!!!
Reply#I #am #so #glad #you #did #a #post #like #this. #my #favorite #new #hashtag #has #to #be #bigtittyho. #I #mean #you #are #just #sooooo #omg #funny. #the #end.
ReplyI am not on Instagram, but I can NOT stand when people over hashtag stuff on fb, emails, blogs anything. STOP!! That shit is annoying!
ReplyThis post can apply to fb as well. Love it. I delete people all the time bc of these reasons. haha
number 3 Whit, OMG number 3!!!
ReplyBut seriously! I can't handle it when people post like 8 pictures in a row and tag #instaflood. Get a hold of yourself!
ReplyHashtag abuse is wrong. Its just wrong. I try and limit my selfie abuse too...I really do. Also multiple posts in a row? Unless you're Adam Levine and live Instagramming your morning routine from shower to dressed I don't wanna see that. K? Thanks.
ReplyHa! I just knew you'd comment on the Gators loss. I even thought about you at the end of the game. :)
ReplyI agree, I do not want to see six photos of the same thing in a row on Insta!
Replyxx
Kelly
Sparkles and Shoes
Ah I'm doing the Blog Baton in October! Can't wait to see what you post tomorrow! xo
Reply#stop #with #the #unnecessary #overuse #of #hashtags #people
ReplyTotally agree with your Instagram annoyances. That being said, the main question I have here is WHAT kind of epic-ness caused this horrible hangover?? ;-)
ReplySarah @ Life As Always
I wish I could link to this girl I know. It's selfies all day, everyday. Including bikini shots, ab shots, etc. It's no wonder her boyfriend closed his Facebook account. I keep her around for the amusement factor.
Reply#3 is too funny! Thankfully I don't have chest shots up in my feed, because just NO! Take that bizness to the club!!
Replythis is PRICELESS!!
Replyi missed your blog whitteezy. I had a blog haiatus last week but am back
oh and whats with that new app that lets you see who unfollowed you!! have you heard of that!?!
selfie abusing is insane. And the "happy monday" posts where its a pic of their boobies staring me in the face that has nothing to do with monday except mondays make me want to dress like a sloth an not stick my non-existant tits out for the world to see
xoxoxo MUAH
yes yes. agree all the way! though the other day I totally posted a picture of me and my son and said how we were sick. but he was cuddling with me all cute so I thought it was something to document (he's a rambunctious 3-year-old). but yes to it all!
ReplyLove that hashtag abuse pic! Too funny! But true!
Replyugh hashtags. more than one, maybe two hashtags, is more than enough for me!
ReplyThank you for this customer service announcement! I follow several peeps who constantly break all of the above rules. It makes me crazy. The other horrible thing that makes my brain explode is when people write nasty comments on celebrity posts. Ummmmm...... If you don't like them, don't follow them. Enough said. Done with rant.
ReplyLove this... seriously made my afternoon! I hate the child pics that just keep going coupled with the 8 hashtags.
ReplyI've become more cautious about what I post on Instagram and how often just for all of these reasons!!!
ReplyInsta Etiquette should be a policy you have to read before you are allowed to sign up. Unless you are Channing Tatum then please do take selfies all.day.long
ReplyWhen I saw the title of your post I instantly thought "OMGeeze, I am definitely one of the offenders who shamelessly uploads too many photos of how much she loves her fiance/husband/manfriend." Thank you for not including that one even though I know it's annoying. I'll stop soon, I swear.
ReplySeriously this made me laugh and is SO true! I hate when I see back-to-back pictures of the same thing and selfies. I don't do it so I don't like see others doing it.
ReplyAMEN to #3...girls are guilty of this on FB too. I know one girl in particular that always takes selfies at an angle above her head (so that half her body is in the pic). And she'll be all like #babyblues hinting that she's trying to show us her beautiful blue eyes but then why is it the first thing I see are two virtual DD's all up in my face? Yeah...we're on to you.
ReplyI can't stand all the boob shots on Instagram with deep quotes like "it's better to have loved and lost then never loved at all" or "every moment of sadness is a moment of happiness you will never get back"...okay cool, this photo is still just a picture of your boobs, it's not getting a million likes from 45 year old men because they are inspired by your life wisdom.
ReplyHAHAHAHA OMG #3 yes yes yes! Can they push the boobs up any higher!? ;)
ReplyMegan
IG: megawat (an IG filled with ass and titties galore)
Hello Newlywed Life Blog
I use a lot of hashtags, but I put them in a comment after my picture. I do this so others can find my pictures. It's pretty big with us bunny owners. As for three in a row. I think it really just depends on what you use instagram for, some people use it like facebook or tumblr and that's just fine.
ReplyA girl I went to high school with once posted so many selfies that my entire Instagram feed was her dumb face! She posted seriously 30 selfies in a row. Homegirl we get it. You love yourself. Now go find something to do.
ReplyAmanda - diaryofanangrypregnantlady.blogspot.com
Yes to all of these!! I have had people send me hashtags in texts. No.
ReplyMichelle - theeclecticvet.blogspot.com/
The hash tag thing drives me CRAZY!!! And sometimes I post 3 in a row thanks for calling me out heheheheh
Reply#yes, #yes, #yes, #yes, and #yes! #agreed.
ReplyTotally agree! Hubby and I were just talking last night about how I sometimes dread checking Instagram because who knows what junk was posted on there - like the 10 selfies in a workout outfit because they're so excited they lost X amount of pounds that week. Seriously - We. Don't. Care! Well said, lady!!!
ReplyDanielle @ BusyMomsHelper.com
I'm the worst. I hashtag all the things for fitness related posts. Go ahead and hate me, I'll hang my head in shame.
ReplyAlso, you should just commit all of these faux-pas on blogbaton tomorrow - haha just kidding. but seriously. or not.
I'll TRY and stop hashtagging... but I promise nothing.
Cool concept with the Blog Baton!!
ReplyCompletely agree with you on this one whit.. some of these instagramers are seriously abusing it!!! I don't even know how I followed so many people!! I got it earlier this year and I MUST have clicked on something that said, 'follow all friends' or something because I am following some of the most boring and pointless posts that I could never give two ..... hoots..... about. (playing nice heh heh)
Replywww.bohemianmuses.blogspot.com
Numero cinco is my numero uno annoyance! I cannot stand scrolling down my IG to find 10 pictures of the same girl doing the duck lips pose. OMG. And duck lips are not cute!
Reply#hashtagwhores is my new favorite thing!!
ReplyOMG I'm dying; this one chick I know likes to take a picture of 3 carrots, 2oz of chicken and 6 grapes and hashtag all of that and more: #cleaneating #doingthisforme #healthy #grapes #2ozchicken #carrots #veggies #diet #weightloss etc. I LOSE MY SHIT EVERY TIME.
ReplyIt could be possible I do number 1. But if it does happen its usually all of different things, or at least I hope it is. And I don't understand hash tags, like why do they put so many in them. What do they do?
ReplyPaulina
Color Me Brave
you are so funny and these are all so true
Replyxo The Egg