Wednesday, September 4, 2013

The Cute Factor

Pretty much my entire life I've been referred to as "cute" and/or "adorable", thus making both terms offensive in my overly sensitive and twisted woman brain. I don't know if it's the fact that every time I type in "cute" in Pinterest shit like this pops up, but I'm thinking it has a lot to do with my association of said word.

Cool. Awesome. I'm the equivalent to puppies and kittens. While I love a fresh little fuzz ball, I can't help but to feel like I might as well just shove a bow on top of my head and wear baby pink sundresses for the rest of eternity.

While I was really contemplating all of this, struggling to figure out why I was letting a compliment bother me, I not only realized I'm an absolute crazy person (Hey, what's new?) but I'm also over thinking this whole thing. Maybe I blame Britney Spears a little bit. She busted out Baby One More Time and instantly the "cute factor" was gone faster than her hair in 2007. Meanwhile, all I wanted was to be her and all I got out of it was the cute little blonde in pigtails and a failed attempt at acting like a ho. Womp.

So I decided to go consult my dear friend Google to see what he had to say about the word cute. Here's what I got:

A cute fucking kitten. Thanks a ton, Google, I owe ya one.

Then I searched through some photos of myself in attempts to squish this bug once and for all, so I can be Victoria's Secret status as opposed to sweet, little kitten status. Unfortunately for me, the photo search didn't do anything for me. Allow me to explain.

Straddling things should be sexy.

Ice skating can be magical and impressive.

Trying to Vanna White a bottle of wine should be hott.

Pirate hookers are hott... unless you're me. 

So, I guess I'll just stick with posing with kittens...

And being the cutest damn Whitopotamus I can be.


  1. September 4, 2013 at 12:48 PM

    I've been wanting to write a post on this topic for a long time! Looks like you beat me to it ;) It really sucks being cute sometimes though. For one day, could I just be a sultry sex goddess? Why does no one call Angelina Jolie "cute"?

  2. September 4, 2013 at 12:59 PM

    You did it. And it was a great one. I am rather impressed over here.

  3. 5f736b7e-b8ec-11e2-a5a7-000bcdca4d7aSeptember 4, 2013 at 1:01 PM

    From what I can tell, your pictures are 'cute' but you in person is another story ... ;)

  4. September 4, 2013 at 1:02 PM

    I can't even think of a time when I was called cute! Oh, yeah the other day when I was mad at the manfriend. Then I wanted to stab him in the eyeballs. I don't dig cute either. I wanna be hot.

  5. September 4, 2013 at 1:11 PM

    I wish just one day someone would call me cute instead of 'sooo tall'. It's your curse I guess.

  6. September 4, 2013 at 1:11 PM

    If it helps any, I've seen a few surveys where guys have said they prefer cute over sexy/hot... Just saying.

  7. September 4, 2013 at 1:17 PM

    you're so kyoot

  8. September 4, 2013 at 1:20 PM

    I feel the same way about the word "pretty." I want to be hot dammit.

  9. September 4, 2013 at 1:22 PM

    I lost it at #prettysurethatsaduckface


  10. September 4, 2013 at 1:26 PM

    This post is just TOO CUTE! #hehe

  11. September 4, 2013 at 1:26 PM

    People could definitely call you worse things than cute but I get your point. I'm thinking only super models get sexy or hot, the rest of us get some form of cute if we're lucky.

  12. September 4, 2013 at 1:26 PM

    We were talking about this in my public speaking class, which was really random! I def get what you're saying!


  13. September 4, 2013 at 1:28 PM

    Cute. You're so cute.

  14. September 4, 2013 at 1:29 PM

    LOL'ed (you like that abbreviation, eh?) Hehe. K (I'll stop). ;)

    ^Alright, but I really laughed out loud at this post! And hey, just remember that puppy/kitten eyes can get you anything and anywhere in this world.

  15. bakinginmybathingsuit.comSeptember 4, 2013 at 1:32 PM

    I've come to terms being cute because frankly, it's mostly personality if you ask me. I'm pretty enough, sure, but I'm also fun, sassy, imaginative, funny, smart and more that likely won't fade as fast as my looks might.

    Besides, I'd rather be the cute girl next door that people like and respect than the hot one they keep around for the eye candy/conquest. And my husband thinks I'm hot so there's that.

  16. September 4, 2013 at 1:44 PM

    I've always had an issue with cute too, but I guess it's better than fat ugly bitch drunk ass...which is what I could be called somedays!

  17. September 4, 2013 at 1:46 PM

    I'm right there with you. Alwayyyyys cute. Ah well. We should embrace the cuteness, I suppose. There's no other way.


  18. September 4, 2013 at 1:56 PM

    haha fabulous post! That hippopotamus outfit is to die for.

  19. September 4, 2013 at 2:09 PM

    Hahaha I have always gone through this SAME thing! Just the other day I was referred to as "Amazingly Cute" all I could think was "wtf? Why can't I be hot, or beautiful or or or...." The person immediately made sure that I understood that I was all those things but my personality made me cute? O.o huh? I still don't get it.... At least I like kittens....

  20. September 4, 2013 at 2:10 PM

    When I hear "you're so cute" I think of that bitch Helen Harris in Bridesmaids when she first meets Annie. That kitten looks like an alien.

  21. September 4, 2013 at 2:30 PM

    cute is one of those words that can sometimes be a compliment (I'll refer to something as super cute but not SomeONE....I think it's acceptable to describe a thing not a person if that makes sense) but other times can just be salt in a wound.

  22. September 4, 2013 at 2:31 PM

    I feel you girl. But most of the time I'm okay with being the 'cute' one. I know I can never pull of 'sexy' anyway.

  23. September 4, 2013 at 2:39 PM

    that cat is the opposite of cute with those alien eyes. just sayin'

  24. September 4, 2013 at 2:49 PM

    that pussy of yours is cute.

  25. September 4, 2013 at 3:30 PM

    Hey guh, you cute. lolol

  26. September 4, 2013 at 3:31 PM

    OMG a hippo costume?! That is fantastic!!!

  27. September 4, 2013 at 3:33 PM

    Thanks for making me lol! I guess having #thecutefactor will never go away for me either!....sigh

  28. September 4, 2013 at 3:42 PM

    Every time I see that last picture apart of me gets all warm and tingly inside and full of badassness. That's right. You as a hippo were a bad ass.

    Butttttttttttt you already knew that. Gettin' whitty with it.

  29. September 4, 2013 at 3:45 PM

    In high school, I always got the "You're really cute. But you're like one of the guys." line so I always associated the two, and HATED it! I'm not six ... don't call me cute!

  30. September 4, 2013 at 3:51 PM

    This so-called compliment has always irritated me too. I feel like when guys say this to a girl they're putting you in this permanent friend-zone where you are completely harmless to them.

    All that aside, this post made me laugh so hard! Thanks for always putting the funny into the shitty things life likes to throw our way. :)

  31. September 4, 2013 at 4:16 PM

    At least you haven't always been the fat girl with the "pretty face"! That's a real stinger! (loving the shoes in the straddle pic, those are CUTE!)

  32. September 4, 2013 at 4:42 PM

    oh "pretty" is one I get a lot. Well thanks, anything else? I have to say my favorite compliment I've ever received, though, was someone telling me that my armpits looked really nice. :P The fact that you even looked at my armpits...hee hee.

  33. September 4, 2013 at 4:54 PM

    bahahahaha! That last photo is THE BOMB. :)

  34. September 4, 2013 at 5:05 PM

    cat eye lasers! pew pew pew!!!

    Sorry, sidetracked. Anyway, you might not be a 'cute kitten' but you are clever and cunning, see #2 informal definition. Whatever you are, own it! But maybe not as Whitopotamus...just, wow.

  35. September 4, 2013 at 5:07 PM

    Better to be cute than fugly though right!?!? Haha. My best friend is teeny tiny with huge brown eyes and a baby face and she's always called "cute" never "sexy" or "hot" so she has come to hate the term as well so I've heard this exact same complaint a billion times haha.

  36. September 4, 2013 at 5:39 PM

    I give up with trying not to be called cute. lol

  37. September 4, 2013 at 7:09 PM

    You crack me up!! This is the best post I've read all day and I really needed it :)

  38. September 4, 2013 at 7:24 PM

    I have always been comfortable with being cute and honestly think that's the best I'll ever get. When guys online lead off with "beautiful," I know they're full of shit.

  39. September 4, 2013 at 7:44 PM

    That picture of you when you are little is absolutely adorable!

    Sparkles and Shoes

  40. September 4, 2013 at 8:18 PM

    I cheered for this semi-pro football team like eons ago, and we went to some fricken "modeling" lady who was supposed to tell us what our "role" on the team was. My best friend was told by this lady that she was supposed to be the sex kitten of the team and push her boobs up and wear "sultry cat eyes," ... and when the lady got to me, she told me that I should be like the cute Baby Spice of the team. What.The.Shit!!!

    So, I totally hear ya - I have a giant head with chipmunk cheeks (thanks, Polish roots) and this baby face isn't going anywhere. Hopefully when we're of cougar age, well still look like hot sex kittens!!!

  41. September 4, 2013 at 9:36 PM

    omg baby you is ridiculously cute! (couldn't help it)

  42. September 4, 2013 at 10:56 PM

    This post is so cute. Just like you. Kewl.
    Tay from The Daily Tay.

  43. September 4, 2013 at 11:13 PM


  44. September 5, 2013 at 1:19 AM

    i love your face. even if that kitten has demon eyes, it's still presh, like you of course.

  45. September 5, 2013 at 6:15 AM

    hahahahaha whit this post had my in tears I was laughing so much :)

    I think you make a beautiful hooker pirate by the way! Better than I'd look! Well... I actually did dress as a hooker pirate for a friends bachelorettes.... those photo's are horrid. hahaha

  46. September 5, 2013 at 8:48 AM

    You're hot. End of story.

  47. September 5, 2013 at 11:07 AM

    I can't even deal with the Whitopotamus! You are the cutest of CUTE! ;)

    I added your blog to our list of BLOGS WE LOVE. I can't help but share your random Whittyness. You are pure genius.

  48. September 5, 2013 at 12:25 PM

    Girl, tons of people would kill to look like you, so I think you're going to have to just suck it up and take this "cute" compliment. ;-)

    Sarah @ Life As Always

  49. September 5, 2013 at 4:49 PM

    Cute. Yup, I've heard that before. I think it is a compliment, but for us who are called that instead of- hot or sexy... take it the wrong way. Cute is for kittens or babies. Cute is like being picked last in gym, but instead of the gym it's at the bar.. Cute is what kept the boys away though.. My girlfriends may have been sexy but they also slept around. I stuck with cute.. and when the boys tried I told them I was a good girl.. because I'm cute, they believed me and left me alone. LOL
    Work the 'cute' in ya Whit.. I'm sure you have it down to a science by now;)

  50. September 6, 2013 at 8:49 AM

    Hahah Ive always been told Im cute and totally resent it. It feels like a nice way to say youre not hot or sexy. Totes.

  51. September 6, 2013 at 10:29 AM

    I'm dying over that last picture! What were you doing?!


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