Pretty much my entire life I've been referred to as "cute" and/or "adorable", thus making both terms offensive in my overly sensitive and twisted woman brain. I don't know if it's the fact that every time I type in "cute" in Pinterest shit like this pops up, but I'm thinking it has a lot to do with my association of said word.
Cool. Awesome. I'm the equivalent to puppies and kittens. While I love a fresh little fuzz ball, I can't help but to feel like I might as well just shove a bow on top of my head and wear baby pink sundresses for the rest of eternity.
While I was really contemplating all of this, struggling to figure out why I was letting a compliment bother me, I not only realized I'm an absolute crazy person (Hey, what's new?) but I'm also over thinking this whole thing. Maybe I blame Britney Spears a little bit. She busted out Baby One More Time and instantly the "cute factor" was gone faster than her hair in 2007. Meanwhile, all I wanted was to be her and all I got out of it was the cute little blonde in pigtails and a failed attempt at acting like a ho. Womp.
So I decided to go consult my dear friend Google to see what he had to say about the word cute. Here's what I got:
A cute fucking kitten. Thanks a ton, Google, I owe ya one.
Then I searched through some photos of myself in attempts to squish this bug once and for all, so I can be Victoria's Secret status as opposed to sweet, little kitten status. Unfortunately for me, the photo search didn't do anything for me. Allow me to explain.
Straddling things should be sexy.
Ice skating can be magical and impressive.
Trying to Vanna White a bottle of wine should be hott.
Pirate hookers are hott... unless you're me.
So, I guess I'll just stick with posing with kittens...
And being the cutest damn Whitopotamus I can be.